How to Find Your Partner’s G-Spot
Looking for your G-spot? You’re not the only one. If you’re not sure where to start or whether it even exists, we have some tips to show you the way. Our sexperts give step-by-step instructions to finding the pleasure zone, including which methods work best in the bedroom. Plus, how sexually adventurous are you? Take our quiz and find out…
The fabled G-spot. For some women, it’s a pleasurable reality. For others, it’s like leprechauns, unicorns and $20 Jimmy Choos – it doesn’t exist. Most women are pleased with a regular orgasm. But is there something that’s even better?
The physical truth: There’s a mass of spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra, called the urethral sponge. And like other parts of the body, the tissue is full of blood vessels and nerve endings.
Doctors and researchers agree that the sponge exists, but they disagree about whether it’s an epicenter of an orgasmic earthquake.
“We know something is there – way too many women have had pleasure by stimulating… that area of the vagina,” says Amy Levine, certified sexual educator and founder of SexedSolutions.com. “We also know some women ejaculate when there’s pressure applied to the same area.”
Anatomy of a G-Spot
The G-spot isn’t a newfangled discovery. It was first noted in the 1940s by German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg (hence the “G”). The “magic button” became popular in 1982 with the publication of sex researcher Beverly Whipple’s best-selling book The G Spot: And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality (Holt Paperbacks).
Decades of debate followed: Is the G-spot myth or science? Does every woman have one? Is it the key to the ultimate orgasm?
Every woman’s vulva and vagina is not the same, and bundles of highly sensitive nerve endings may be in different places. Which may explain why some respond well to a certain technique or position and others don’t.
In fact, the G-spot may be less of a spot and more of a zone that’s hard to pinpoint from one woman to the next, explaining why evidence has been hard to come by.
To Have or Have Not
But a study by researchers at Italy’s University of L’Aquila claims to have found physiological proof of a G-spot.
Using vaginal ultrasounds, the researchers found thicker tissue between the vagina and the urethra – where the G-spot is thought to reside – in women who reported having vaginal orgasms, but not in women who reported having clitoral orgasms.
Lead researcher Emmanuele Jannini, M.D., concluded that some women have a G-spot and others don’t.
But Levine says the study isn’t evidence of anything. It tested only 20 women, “an extremely small sample size,” she says. “And 20 women aren’t necessarily representative of all women.”
Plus, there’s also no way of knowing what came first, the G-spot or the vaginal orgasm, Levine says.
“It could be that women with thicker tissue suggestive of a G-spot have had more experience stimulating the area.”
Better Orgasms… Maybe
So why the fuss? Supposedly, a G-spot orgasm is the end-all, be-all of pleasure… which makes it all the more tantalizing.
In The Guide to Getting It On (Goofy Foot Press), sex researcher Paul Joannides writes that feelings in the clitoris get to the brain via the pudendal nerve, and vaginal sensations (including the G-spot) are sent to the brain through the pelvic nerve.
Because of this, stimulating both spots may lead to a more intense or “full” orgasm.
Levine agrees. Because the clitoris and the G-spot are different erogenous zones, “stimulating both is going to make for a more powerful orgasm for many women,” she says.
Some women describe clitoral orgasms as more “shallow” and vaginal orgasms as “deeper” or more intense, Levine says.
Mining for G-old
So, how can you find your G-spot? Experimentation, a healthy mindset and a little patience are the keys.
Most important: Get fully aroused, Levine says, because “the G-spot swells the more aroused a woman gets.”
Full arousal differs for every woman: It may be five minutes into sexual activity… or 25.
Once aroused and lubricated, follow these steps:
1. Insert a finger (yours or your partner’s) in the vagina.
2. Run it along the top wall of the vagina. Look out for an area that feels different from the rest of the tissue. Perhaps it’s more pleasurable when touched.
3. If you find a spot that feels promising, stimulate the area with a “come-hither” motion.
For many women, the G-spot is about halfway between the vaginal opening and the cervix, Levine says.
If not there, try feeling closer to the vaginal opening or the cervix.
“Many women are scared about peeing during G-spot stimulation because it triggers a similar sensation, like they have to urinate,” Levine says.
Her recommendation: Urinate beforehand to put your mind at ease about wetting the bed.
Once the G-spot is stimulated to the point of swelling, the peeing feeling usually subsides, perhaps giving way to pleasure.
For some women, G-spot stimulation triggers the release of fluid from the Skene’s glands in the urethra, usually at orgasm.
You can also seek out the G-spot the old-fashioned way – during intercourse.
Several positions are ideal for this:
Woman on top
“This allows a woman to experiment with the angle that works best for her,” Levine says. ”Leaning back slightly while she’s on top targets the upper vaginal wall.”
“This works especially well if a woman can angle her body down by resting on her elbows,” Levine says.
G-spot stimulation can be enhanced by squeezing your pelvic floor muscles around your partner’s penis. (It boosts his arousal too.)
Couples can experiment with angling his body up slightly so their pelvic bones are aligned and the penis is at the right angle to provide G-spot stimulation.
Couples should maintain a gentle rocking motion. This position, called the coital-alignment technique, also provides clitoral stimulation.
Levine also encourages women (and their partners) to explore sex toys designed for G-spot stimulation. They’re generally angled at the tip to target the upper vaginal wall, and can be made of various materials, such as soft silicone, plastic or even glass.
Just remember: What worked for your best friend may not work for you.
And most important, resist the urge to get G-spot tunnel vision.
“Orgasm is a subjective experience and that’s exactly the way it’s supposed to be,” Levine says.
Good sex is as much about a mental connection as a physical one. Feeling comfortable with your partner and yourself is a prerequisite to pleasure. So enjoy the journey and what you find, even if X doesn’t mark the G-spot.