South Korea finds itself embroiled in an all-out gender war – and it keeps getting worse.
The animosity between Korean men and women has reached a point where some women are outright refusing to date, marry and have kids with men – a phenomenon known as the 4B movement.
As a Korean feminist scholar living in the U.S., I’ve followed this gender war from afar as I conducted research on contemporary Korean gender politics.
However, I also became embroiled in it myself after my research on Korean masculinity was published by CNN.
The article described foreign women who traveled to Korea after becoming enamored of the idea of dating Korean men from watching Korean television dramas. I pointed out that since the tourists’ fantasies were based on fictional characters, some of them ended up disappointed with the Korean men they dated in real life.
The article was about racial politics and the masculine ideals. But some Korean readers thought that I was simply criticizing Korean men for not being romantic and handsome enough. One enraged Korean man commented that I was an “ugly feminist.”
But this was tame in comparison to what women living in South Korea have endured in recent years.
Extreme misogyny and a feminist backlash
Over the past couple of decades, there have been flash points in this gender war.
In 2010, Ilbe, a right-wing website that traffics in misogyny, started attracting users who peppered the forums with vulgar posts about women.
South Korea finds itself embroiled in an all-out gender war – and it keeps getting worse.
The animosity between South Korean men and women has reached a point where some women are outright refusing to date, marry and have kids with men – a phenomenon known as the 4B movement.
As a Korean feminist scholar living in the United States, I’ve followed this gender war from afar as I conducted research on contemporary Korean gender politics.
However, I also became embroiled in it myself after my research on Korean masculinity was published by CNN.
The article described foreign women who travelled to Korea after becoming enamoured with the idea of dating Korean men from watching Korean television dramas. I pointed out that since the tourists’ fantasies were based on fictional characters, some of them ended up disappointed with the Korean men they dated in real life.
The article was about racial politics and masculine ideals. But some Korean readers thought that I was simply criticising Korean men for not being romantic and handsome enough. One enraged Korean man commented that I was an “ugly feminist”.
In traditional Korean society, women’s roles were confined to the home. From a young age, women were taught the virtues of subordination and endurance to prepare for their future roles as wife and mother. Women, in general, could not participate in society as men did, and their role was limited to household matters.
The situation began to change with the opening of the country to the outside world during the late 19th century. During this period modern schools were introduced, mostly by Western Christian missionaries. Some of these schools were founded with the specific goal of educating women. These educated women began to engage in the arts, teaching, religious work, and enlightening other women. Women also took part in the independence movement against the Japanese occupation, and displayed no less vigor, determination, and courage than the men.
With the establishment of the Republic of Korea in 1948, women achieved constitutional rights for equal opportunities to pursue education, work, and public life. There is no doubt that the female labor force contributed significantly to the rapid economic growth that Korea achieved during the past three decades. An increasing number of women work in professional fields.
As economic development proceeded and the living conditions of Koreans improved, the educational attainment level of women also increased. In 1966, among those graduating from elementary school, only 33 percent of girls continued their education in middle school. The comparable figures for high school and university were 20 percent and 4 percent, respectively, during the same period. However, by 1998, the comparable ratios reached 99.5 percent and 61.6 percent for high school and university. The economic participation rate of women also has increased steadily since industrialization from 34.4 percent in 1965 to 48.1 percent in 1999.
In terms of characteristics of the female labor force, in 1975, only 2 percent of the female labor force worked in professional or managerial occupations, while 4 percent worked in clerical positions. However, by 1998, 12.6 percent of female employees were serving in professional or managerial positions, and another 16 percent were working in clerical occupations.
With an increasing number of women entering professional jobs, the government passed the “Equal Employment Act” in 1987 to prevent discriminatory practices against female workers in regard to hiring and promotion opportunities.
Korean women today are actively engaged in a wide variety of fields, including education, medicine, engineering, scholarship, the arts, law, literature, and sports. Women are thus making significant contributions to society.
There was something puzzling about the young Western women staying at the youth hostels in Seoul, thought researcher Min Joo Lee.
Unlike their Asian counterparts, who she saw squeezing in as many sights and shops as possible during their stays in the South Korean capital, these women – mostly in their early 20s – seemed uninterested in the usual tourist trails.
Instead, for most of their days they would remain inside their hostel, sleeping or watching Korean TV shows – venturing out only after dark.
They had come to the attention of Lee, who researches Korea’s gender and race politics as a postdoctoral fellow at Indiana University Bloomington, because she was in town to find out what influence the rising international profile of Korean pop culture was having on tourism.
After visiting eight hostels and interviewing 123 women, mostly from North America and Europe, Lee came to the conclusion that many had been drawn to the country by what she calls “the Netflix effect.”
Hit Korean television shows like “Crash Landing on You” and “Goblin,” were selling more than men with beautiful faces and chiseled bodies like their stars Hyun Bin and Gong Yoo. They were offering a glimpse into a world where men were romantic and patient, an antithesis to what the women saw as the sex-obsessed dating culture of their home countries.
Are you in Korea and single? Do you want to find the right partner for you but are afraid of a myriad of ideas about Korean culture and its women? Do you also need some do’s and don’ts or general information about dating a Korean girl? You are at the right place! In this blog, we will walk you through a complete guide of things you’d wish you had known before about dating a Korean woman. So let’s get started!
Dating A Korean Girl
Would you like to date a charming Korean girl? Or are you planning on visiting Korea this summer, and you’re curious about the dating environment there?
Whatever the case might be, this article will give you certain insights into Korean dating culture, which will definitely help you become more confident when trying to approach a Korean girl.
While dating in Korea is still the same as in the rest of the world, some aspects of Korean culture come into play in Korean dating that you need to be aware of.
Dating in Korea becomes much easier when you are respectful of these boundaries. We would like to add that this article is purely meant for informative purposes and is not meant to objectify girls in Korea.
While some things are stereotypical in the Korean dating culture, it does not mean they apply to all Korean girls.
Then in 2015, an online extremist feminist group named Megalia arose. Its goal was to fight back by demeaning Korean men in ways that mirrored the rhetoric on sites like Ilbe.
A year later, a man who had professed his hatred of women murdered a random woman in a public bathroom near a Seoul subway station. He was eventually sentenced to decades in prison, but the lines were quickly drawn. On one side were feminists, who saw misogyny as the underlying motive. On the other side were men who claimed that it was merely the isolated actions of a mentally ill man. The two groups violently clashed during competing protests at the site of the murder.
A backdrop of digital sex crimes
However, none of these events have elicited as much public controversy as the steep rise in digital sex crimes. These are newer forms of sexual violence facilitated by technology: revenge porn; upskirting, which refers to surreptitiously snapping photos under women’s skirts in public; and the use of hidden cameras to film women having sex or undressing.
In 2018, there were 2,289 reported cases of digital sex crimes; in 2021, the number snowballed to 10,353.
In 2019, there were two major incidents that involved digital sex crimes.
In one, a number of male K-pop stars were indicted for filming and circulating videos of women in group chatrooms without their consent.
A few months later, Koreans were shocked to learn about what became known as the “Nth Room Incident,” during which hundreds of perpetrators – mostly men – committed digital sex crimes on dozens of women and minors.
But this was tame in comparison to what women living in South Korea have endured in recent years.
EXTREME MISOGYNY AND A FEMINIST BACKLASH
Over the past couple of decades, there have been flashpoints in this gender war.
In 2010, Ilbe, a right-wing website that traffics in misogyny, started attracting users who peppered the forums with vulgar posts about women.
Then in 2015, an online extremist feminist group named Megalia arose. Its goal was to fight back by demeaning Korean men in ways that mirrored the rhetoric on sites like Ilbe.
A year later, a man who had professed his hatred of women murdered a random woman in a public bathroom near a Seoul subway station. He was eventually sentenced to decades in prison, but the lines were quickly drawn.
On one side were feminists, who saw misogyny as the underlying motive. On the other side were men who claimed that it was merely the isolated actions of a mentally ill man. The two groups violently clashed during competing protests at the site of the murder.
A BACKDROP OF DIGITAL SEX CRIMES
However, none of these events has elicited as much public controversy as the steep rise in digital sex crimes. These are newer forms of sexual violence facilitated by technology: Revenge porn; upskirting, which refers to surreptitiously snapping photos under women’s skirts in public; and the use of hidden cameras to film women having sex or undressing.
With the launch of the new Administration in 1998, the Presidential Commission on Women’s Affairs was established to handle issues specifically involving women. The commission was elevated and expanded to become the Ministry of Gender Equality in January 2001. The new ministry set up 20 specific tasks to be achieved in six basic areas. These areas are: to revise and establish laws and rules that involve discrimination in any sector and to increase the representation of women, to facilitate women’s employment and provide support for female workers, to increase educational opportunities for women to be competitive in the labor market, to provide social welfare policies for women, to promote women’s involvement in various social activities including volunteer work and women’s organization activities, and to strengthen the cooperation of Korean women’s organizations with international women’s organizations.
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The appeal of Korean men
The women Lee interviewed were fascinated with Korean men who were portrayed on TV as being in touch with their emotions and willing to embrace their “effeminate sides,” Lee said.
They considered Korean men cultured and romantic while complaining that men in their home countries often neglected their appearances and had one-track minds.
Grace Thornton, a 25-year-old gardener from the United Kingdom, traveled to Seoul in 2021 after watching K-drama “Crash Landing on You” on Netflix.
She was struck by how men in the show did not jeer at or catcall women on the street, as happens in her home country.
In her eyes, Korean men are “gentlemen, polite, charming, romantic, fairytale-like, chivalrous, respectful.” She said it also helps that Korean men dress well and groom themselves.
“(English men in comparison) are half drunk, holding a beer, holding a dead fish,” she said – a reference to what she said was the prevalence of fishing pictures in British male dating app profiles.
And the appeal is not entirely about the men.
As Thornton puts it: “In England, I’m very common looking and sound the same as everyone else. In Korea, I’m different, exciting and foreign. People pay attention to me. I felt special.”
Why Date Korean Girls?
It can take days to discuss why a Korean woman is right for you. However, if you want the first impression about Korean girls without traveling all the way to Korea, you are in for a treat. Here are a few traits that you might find attractive in Korean women.
1. Elegant And Pretty
You might have come across K-pop stars or Korean models having millions of followers online as people obsess over how beautiful they are. A Korean girl typically has a cute broad face with a petite figure which are also a part of Korean beauty standard. They have a sweet and soft voice which men always adore. Not only that, Korean women have the best taste in fashion.
They aren’t dressed provocatively, but at the same time, it is striking to the eye. They are elegant in their walk, and they have a really strong presence without having to try at all. They generally have fair complexions with clear skin and average height. Korean girls do not like to use much makeup, just enough to enhance their own natural beauty.
