Most people console their loved ones suffering from relationship trauma by saying, “Keep patient,” “Time will change everything,” or “Everything will be alright,” etc. However, their situation will be improved only when they will take turn their awareness into action in solving what is causing them emotional pain or grief.
When an individual is unable to share what they’re going through, they feel alone and isolated. They might become extremely distressed, and sometimes the condition could worsen. In such situations, it’s best to get professional help from an experienced relationship specialist.
Note: Relationship trauma is a mental health condition that should not be neglected.
In this article, we will explain the seven signs and symptoms that indicate relationship trauma, but before that, let’s learn more about it.
What Causes Trauma in a Relationship?
One does not develop relationship trauma overnight. It may take months or even years.
Abusive or detrimental behavior of a partner in an intimate relationship can cause traumatic events to their partner’s life.
These include:
- Emotional neglect or abuse
- Threatening, insulting, or bullying
- Avoidance or isolation
- Codependency or dependency
- Coercive control
7 Signs & Symptoms of Relationship Trauma
Here are seven signs and symptoms that indicate if someone needs a relationship therapist.
Emotional Flashbacks
People who experience unhealthy relationships can suffer from flashbacks. It is one of the most common symptoms of relationship trauma. A specific smell, place, incident, or word may remind them of their memories.
The sufferer may experience flashbacks of the things that happened in the past. These intrusive thoughts often trigger intense fears, a freezing trauma response, or anger/rage. These traumatic flashbacks can make an individual feel as if they are reliving those events.
Nightmares
An individual going through traumatic events may not be able to sleep peacefully. The traumatic phases of one’s life can make it tough to relax. These individuals may often get nightmares about the unpleasant moments in their past relationship. Many experience difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. They may wake up several times throughout the night, or may develop a fear of going to sleep for fear of another nightmare occurring.
Guilt/Shame
Feelings of guilt/shame are often reported in people experiencing relationship trauma where they internalize relationship issues as being their fault. They may work overtime trying to please their partner to little avail, and many find themselves putting their partner’s needs before their own which can trigger feelings of contempt or resentment, which ultimately triggers more feelings of guilt and shame. This can create a pattern of obsessively focusing on their looks, their performance, their achievements, or their accomplishments to try and make themselves feel less guilt/shame, or to win over their partner.
Trust Issues
Trust issues often develop in childhood from attachment or developmental trauma that may have created a pattern of love-addicted behavior where a person looks to relationships or romance as a quick fix in pushing away their pain. By the time that person is an adult, there is often a long history of unresolved trust issues that keep replaying from one relationship to another. This pattern actually reinforces distrust, rather than helping the person gain trust in their partner. They may be living in constant eggshells, or they may obsessively worry that their partner is cheating on them. The toxicity of past relationships overlaps with the person’s ability to trust their current partner. Due to the bitter experiences of their past relationship, establishing a new meaningful relationship can be tough for them.
Self-medicating
Most sufferers try to move on from traumatic events by engaging in substance abuse or process addictions that may include excessive or dangerous gym routines, eating disorders, video game addictions, or other ways to help themselves numb or avoid intrusive memories, or thoughts of their pain. The goal with any addictive behavior patterns is to escape or postpone dealing with intrusive memories or painful experiences. Reaching out to a relationship therapist can be beneficial since they can provide support and intervention needed for healing.
Obsessions/Compulsions
Individuals suffering from relationship trauma may constantly think about the events and incidents of their abusive relationship. These obsessive thoughts can lead to self-sabotaging behavior, self-harm, or compulsively trying to fix or rescue the relationship by trying harder to prove their worth.
Anger and Overreaction
When someone feels traumatized and controlled in a relationship, it may lead to anger and overreaction over time. Content or resentment that bubbles under the surface may come out as a hostile reaction toward the other. Because of their unprocessed trauma, they may overreact unnecessarily to things that would otherwise not affect them.
The Bottom Line
If you find yourself or someone close to you, experiencing the above signs and symptoms, you are not alone. A respected relationship specialist can help you unpack what is keeping you feeling stuck, can create goals that area aligned with helping you heal, and can help you solve your relationship issues and overcome the traumatic phase of your life. Trauma-informed care is a healthy choice in helping you overcome relationship trauma and its negative effects on your happiness.
