I often ask myself, “Why do I always feel like I am not good enough?” Do I lack confidence or affirmations just don’t work for me? I always try to keep myself motivated but still deep down, my inner-critics proves me that I am not good enough?
Why do I feel like this even when I do every bit to prove myself every day in front of the world? Something is lacking within me or the world is just not good?
Ever thought what roots such phrases or sentences? Self-worth! Self-worth is one of the reasons behind such issues. Clearly, it is the major reasons why you often feel like a failure or feel like you are not good enough! But, wait there are more reasons too! Below are some major reasons behind why you feel like you are not good enough?
Major Reasons for Feeling Not Good Enough
- Your hidden beliefs
You might have heard this common saying, “your beliefs define you.” Therefore, if you believe that you are not good enough, lacks self-worth, or have a self-doubt on yourself, then it’s quite clear that it’s your beliefs that make you less vulnerable and resilient towards the problems of life. Low self-worth is actually directly connected with hidden assumptions that we tend to believe.
Brownie Tips:
- Stop assuming everything wrong or negative about you.
- Start believing in yourself and build up your confidence.
- Instead of asking yourself, “Why I am not good enough”, start asking, “How can I use my strengths to fix this.”
- You are kind of judgmental
Yes, I am being honest with you, it’s no one but your own judgmental self that lead you to this situation. You always judge yourself for not being enough or good, instead of working on your problems. Your judgmental self actually stops you from fixing issues or reaching your goals. You have judged yourself in such a way that your thoughts are more filled with negative thoughts.
Brownie Tips:
- Practice mindfulness to overcome such a judgmental personality.
- Practice affirmations that motivate you to do better.
- Focus on fixing issues instead of judging yourself.
- Fill yourself with positive thoughts and get rid of negative thinking.
- You have surrounded yourself with negative or toxic people
The truth behind your self-worth and lack of confidence is that you have surrounded yourself with people who do not support you, criticize you, or lack self-worth. Toxic people or people who are filled with negativity can never support you and will never leave a chance to criticize you. The truth is that they can never see anyone growing in front of them. Therefore, in order to fix your thinking towards you, you will have to really work on cutting down such negative people from your life.
Brownie Tips:
- Cut down toxic people from your life.
- Practice gratitude for great things in your life.
- Surround yourself with people who support you.
- Never take criticism personally, instead of avoiding it as much as possible.
- You had a judgmental or demanding childhood
Clearly, we learn most of the things during childhood, what our parents taught us, and in what environment we grew up. If you had demanding, critical, or judgmental parents, you can clearly think about your lack of self-worth. When our parents do not motivate us and instead criticize us for everything we do, we generally learn from them and become similar personalities.
Brownie Tips:
- Do not let others’ opinions or childhood haunt your present or future.
- Work on setting goals so that no one can criticize you or judge you for who you are.
- Work on your fixing your childhood traumas and stop judging yourself for the mistakes you have not made.
- Practice self-forgiveness.
- You didn’t have stability or safety during childhood
If you had a hard childhood with abuse or mistreatment, you definitely lack trust or self-worth. Perhaps, your parents were more prone to mental health issues like depression, alcoholism, toxic relationship, and more. If you had a hard time dealing with your parent’s responsibilities and happiness, you lack understanding of your own happiness, you lack smartness, and consecutively, you cannot change your childhood and it is living inside your mind as a trauma.
Brownie Tips:
- Talk to a therapist or a counselor about it.
- Communicate your feelings with someone who supports you.
- Try trauma bonding or trauma-related therapies to overcome your past and trauma related to it.
- You didn’t receive attachment during childhood
Well, there are kids who have never received love, respect, attachment from their parents. Some kids are grown in a foster home wherein they never realized or experienced attachment. They generally spent their life only in changing foster homes or expecting love from their parents. When they have not received the proper parenting, they lack unconditional love, respect, and trust. Attachment theory describes that a child needs seven years of unconditional love for building his/her life. If this does not happen, it leads to an anxious attachment style.
Brownie Tips:
- Talk to a therapist or a counselor about it.
- Communicate your feelings with someone who supports you.
- You have experienced trauma or traumas
Of course, trauma can lead to the development of negative thoughts, lack of self-worth, less confidence, and whatnot. To lack self-worth, we cannot only blame poor parenting, besides parenting, but there are also a lot more reasons like death of a loved one, early death of parents, experienced a deadly accident, physical abuse, sexual abuse, or more. To overcome the trauma, there are various therapy options available via online and traditional methods.
Brownie Tips:
- Talk to a therapist or a counselor about it.
- Communicate your feelings with someone who supports you.
- Get counseled by a psychotherapist and work on your traumas.
- Work on your fixing your childhood traumas and stop judging yourself for the mistakes you have not made.
- Practice self-forgiveness.
I hope this blog helps you to find “why do I always feel like I am not good enough” and helps you with effective ways to deal with it.
Thanks for reading.
More power to you!
